Chapter 1

"I Don't Want to be a Girl"

     "I Don't Want to be a Girl" 

            

      Jasmine had to make the choice. It was a mother's decision after all. As traditional as she was in public places she was the just the opposite in her own house. Even her husband Rohan was cowered by her intimidating stares and unyielding belief that she was correct in all matters.

      Jasmine had come from a family of a higher class in society than him, though their marriage was arranged by their parents, she accepted it as a custom of her land and because she found Rohan pleasant to look at. Rohan had resisted the marriage and openly voiced his opposition to the entire idea, but he was too young at the time and ended up the reluctant husband to this now full figured strong willed woman.

       Jasmine and Rohan had four boys. The boys were well mannered and showed total respect for their parents at all time. The youngest was Rakesh. He was now ten, and his brother Soham was next at twelve. Raj had just turned fourteen and his oldest brother Depaak was sixteen. The boys all lived normal lives and enjoyed being with their friends. 

      In public Jasmine showed the respect for her husband that any good wife would. She always deferred to him with a nice smile, pretending to be shy and looking to her husband with adoring eyes as he spoke to their friends. When they were home though she dictated what needed to be done around the house and even slapping Rohan's face when he didn't respond quick enough.

      Rohan would sit at the end of the bed and rub his wife's feet behind the closed doors of their bedroom every night. Looking at the jeweled toe rings that adorned all her toes, which Rohan found it was a little much. At times when Jasmine was getting ready for bed he would be informed of additional task, that he hated.

      "Rohan, I need my toes done tonight honey," she'd say coming around the corner with the color nail polish she desired him to paint her toenails with.

      He felt a sense of shame that his manhood was challenged in such a way. Men didn't do these kind of things, even for their wives, but he did, and he felt helpless to change the direction of his life. He loved his children and tried to be a strong male influence for them at all times. He hid these things he did from them, he would be devastated if they found out but still in the middle of the night when all was quiet and everyone was asleep, Rohan sat at the end of the bed and obediently painted his wife's toenails.

      Rohan was a strong father figure and did take care of the boys. When discipline was needed or required, they were spanked in the shed out back behind the house with a leather strap or belt. Though the punishment was usually swift and justified, it was done privately to prevent the young man any additional embarrassment in front of his family and siblings. Oddly enough it was Jasmine that had insisted the boys be taken to the shed for discipline when it was needed as they got older. She believed in traditional values especially in men.

       So when the opportunity arose to marry one of her sons off in an arranged marriage that would benefit the entire family she had no qualms about it. Even if it was going to be to another man that her son would marry.

      Rohan had looked stunned when the idea was presented from the other family.

     "My son is not like that. How can you ask such a thing," he had stated to the couple who desired the union.

     "If you will commit to have one of your son's marry my son, your entire family will benefit from the union," the mother had pointed out.

      "Why us?" Jasmine asked meekly.

      "Your sons have very soft skin, and smooth complexions. They will make a beautiful feminine male spouse for our son. We would wait until he is of age of course."

      "I'm not sure I understand. The same sex unions are new to me. I'm such a traditional woman. This is a new law that is just getting started. My son likes girls," Jasmine said.

      "Old traditions will be observed. If you allowed one of your son's to be given in marriage to my son, we will arrange it all in the traditional way. The only thing that would be different would be your son's gender." the mother said softly and the father agreed.

      "Traditional ceremonies have a husband and wife. Man and a woman," Rohan stated.

      "Yes. Your son will be the bride of course. We expect with you having a few years before coming of age he has time to learn how to be a good wife," she said as a matter of fact.

      "You want my son to be the wife? He is not a woman," Rohan said loudly.

      "Yes, that is true, but he will be expected to dress and act like a woman for his husband."

      "What about the humiliation and the taunting he will face?" Rohan spat out.

      "With proper instruction over the next few years there should be no humiliation. This is our offer to you to join our families as one," the wife said.

      Jasmine read the offer and looked at Rohan. She looked at the woman who seemed to have little or no concerns that a young man was going to be asked to give up his male way of life.

      "Please, may I have a moment alone with my husband?" Jasmine asked as she stood.

     "But of course."

      Jasmine led Rohan into the next room. She had been influenced by the offer. She now felt that for the good of the entire family, one of the son's must step up and accept this offer.

     "Rohan, we will all be in a better place. We can move into a better lifestyle. The boys will have more opportunities to be successful," she said.

     "Which boys Jasmine. Which one is going to be wearing a saree on his wedding day? Is it fair for him?" he said in a angry tone.

      "I will make the decision as to which of our sons will do this when it is time," she said sternly, "and whoever I decide, will do it, and thanks to him his entire family will benefit."

      "You are willing to commit one of our sons to this. Ask him to act like a girl? Become this man's wife?"

      "Yes I am. He will accept his new role in our family Rohan. It's just part of life. Women get arranged all the time into marriages. He will no longer be treated as a son," she said looking off in reflection, "He will take on daughter status. I will take him under my wing and groom him for his new position in life."

      "You want to make him a girl Jasmine? That is so degrading."

      "You think there is something wrong with being a girl Rohan? I'm a girl. I have been a girl all my life. I love being a woman. I love it, I embrace it. Yes I am treated as a second class citizen in public, so in that respect he will need to adjust, but in the privacy of our home I rule the family. He can establish the same in his new relationship if he is strong enough. Having been a young man this should be no problem. Right Rohan? If not then he will end up living the life of a traditional woman both publicly and domestically."

      "No," he said through gritted teeth feeling he had lost the argument.

      "Do you want me to go and tell this couple that you paint my toenails?" she said raising an eyebrow. "How about the fact I tie you up and spank you with a wooden paddle till you are crying like a child when you get out of line."

      "Jasmine please," he said in a worried tone that his manhood would be laughed at by the thought of it even though it was a reality.

     "What if told this couple that you like your toenails painted red like a girl?"

      "That's not true Jasmine and you know it!" he said this time because it was not true at all.

      "They don't know that," she said daring him to challenge her on this.

      "I would never demean my manhood by doing something like a woman," he said in disgust tone.

      "You will if I tell you to," she said firmly. "I would never humiliate you in public Rohan, you know that, but be careful Rohan, I may just desire to see you in something a little more sexy and how should I say, frilly at night."

      "Stop it. I want nothing to do with all this. I will raise my other three sons as true men. Who are you thinking Jasmine?" he said upset with the whole idea.

      "I don't know yet and I don't like your tone. I may ask the boys first if one of them would like to volunteer."

      "That will not happen. They won't volunteer and the one you pick will resist. How can you expect a young man to cooperate with such a thing."

      "I have a plan in mind that will cut down the resistance. Paddling."

      "Jasmine, paddling him for not wanting to be a girl? Not wanting to be humiliated and laughed at by his family and friends? This is not right."

      "No of course not Rohan. The paddling would be for not cooperating, and I'm not just talking about our son. If your attitude towards this doesn't change I will give your ass some attention too. I will take over disciplining him. Remember he will take on female status right away. You and the other boys will treat him as a girl and respect his new position in life, as he will learn to do also."

       After further discussions with the couple it was decided to form a marital agreement between the two families. Once the son was selected to become the bride, the two boys would meet as soon as possible. They wouldn't need to see each other again till things got closer but an initial meeting was always the way to start.

      On the ride home Jasmine sat quietly with a smile on her face as she contemplated each of her sons. She would have to pick one and he would be groomed to be a young lady. It would be a process that would be done over a few years. She also thought about the upgrade in lifestyle that everyone would receive after the marriage. One son's sacrifice for the good of the entire family.

  "The reason I have asked you boys to come in here, is we have a family matter and a decision that must be made. I feel it is in the best interest of all of us. Your father and I have decided it must and will be done," Jasmine said smiling at her sons who were all seated on the couch.

       "What is it mother?" Soham asked.

      "Well, your father and I have agreed to arrange the marriage of one of you with another family. The other family is very well placed in society and has requested this union to be one of you."

       "What?" Raj said with surprised look on his face.

       "So what does she look like," Depaak said with a devilish grin.

       "Well, first let me say that this marriage will be good for the entire family. Our association with this family will benefit us all. Looks are not all that goes into a relationship Depaak."

      "Oh no, she's hideous," Raj said as the other boys laughed.

       Rakesh the youngest seemed to dislike the idea of girls all together, but he was at that age that girls were interesting but still unapproachable.

      "Boys listen to me very carefully. One of you will accept this proposal. The one that does will begin living as a girl immediately."

      "I'm not living as a girl." Raj said looking at the others. "What is that all about. Sounds stupid to me."

      "Honey, it is a young man one of you will be marrying. You will become the bride for this young man."

      "You can't be serious," Rakesh said.

      "I'm dead serious Rakesh. One of you will spend the next few years living as a girl and learning to be a proper young lady, and the rest of you will be fully supportive."

       There was only silence in the room.

       "Over the next week I would like all of you to think about it. I expect one of you one to come to me privately and volunteer for this. "

      "Volunteer to dress like a girl?" Rakesh said again.

      "Yes, not just dress as a girl Rakesh but to learn to be a woman in all ways. Your male identity will eventually be a forgotten thing."

       "I'm not doing that," Raj said nervously as they all agreed.

       "If nobody volunteers by the end of the week, then I will be forced to make the decision myself. I will pick one of you. My decision will be final. The one I pick will begin dressing and living as a girl. There will be no discussions. Your father and I have made up our minds on this matter."

       Jasmine stood and looked at all four boys.

      "I love you all. If I choose you to become the daughter of this family it doesn't mean I love you less. I will love you as if you had been my daughter your whole life, and the family will thank you for your acceptance of this new life."

      "What if we say no? What if we don't want to be a girl?" Rakesh asked as his mother was leaving the room.

      "You won't actually be a girl Rakesh. You will just dress as one and live as the wife to this young man. There is nothing wrong with being a girl Rakesh or dressing as a girl if you are truly changing your lifestyle to be feminine is a wonderful feeling," she said looking back with a smile, "and we all have things in life we don't want to do, but must because it's the right thing to do. This will be one of those moments for one of you boys."

       She left the room. The boys were stunned.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

     Depaak was the oldest and was concerned that he was being considered maybe more so than the others.

      "Mother," he asked when they were alone as she prepared dinner.

      "Yes Depaak, have you come to tell me you wish to volunteer to be a bride?" she said.

      "No," he said defensively.

      She looked at him with a pleasant smile.

      "I was wondering if you were seriously considering me in this marriage."

      "Yes Depaak, I am considering you."

      He looked at her as if he she would change the word that came out of her mouth.

      "I am also considering your brothers. Do you feel this is something that one of you might want to volunteer for?"

      "No, I do not. Mother I don't want to this. Please don't consider me, I mean I have a girlfriend. I like being a man. Everyone will laugh at me."

      "Depaak, look at me," she said taking him by the shoulder and lifting his chin to face her. "I'm sure your brothers feel the same way. Don't you? I doubt anyone is going to step forward and accept this young man's hand in marriage on their own."

      "I would feel so shamed having to do such a thing," he said teary eyed.

      She wiped away his tears with her thumbs.

      "I'm sure there will many feelings that will need to be dealt with. Fear, shame, and some humiliation to name a few. With time though we can work through all that."

      "I don't want to be a girl," he whined.

      "Depaak, I haven't made a decision yet. If I decide it is to be one of your brothers then I will expect you to be very supportive, but if I decide it is to be you, Depaak please understand, you will have no choice and you will do it. You will be my daughter instead of my son."

       Depaak hung his head and walked away. He couldn't understand the reality of all this. He wouldn't be able to sleep all week he was so worried it would be him.

      It wasn't long before Raj came into the kitchen. He had seen Depaak after he left all teary.

      "Is Depaak going to be the girl?" he asked after seeing him so upset.

      "He might," his mother said washing one of the dishes she had been using,

     "I think he would be a great girl and I will be very supportive of him as my sister," he said looking around for something to eat.

     "I'm sure he will make a very fine woman and wife Raj and I appreciate your support. I also think you would make a fine woman and wife."

     "Me? I don't want to do this," Raj said laughing.

     "And you think Depaak does?"

     "I think he would do it if he had to. Just leave me out of it. I have plans," Raj said ignoring the feminization threat that hung over him.

     She watched him walk away.

      "And you will do it too young man if I decide it should be you." she said to herself.

Being continued......................................................